Sunday, March 24, 2013
RANSOMED: KNOW Me-LOVE Me
RANSOMED: KNOW Me-LOVE Me: Is this not one of the deepest cries of the human heart? Someone, anyone please know me and love me. Deep within the human heart there is a ...
KNOW Me-LOVE Me
Is this not one of the deepest cries of the human heart? Someone, anyone please know me and love me. Deep within the human heart there is a desire to be known and yet loved for who we really are. But over the journey of our lives, we meet disappointment after disappointment filled with rejection, hurt, and pain. We realize that people are incapable of loving us perfectly, and often times, fail in loving us or quit loving us. So in a sense, we feel we have to pretend or work harder, always providing excuses for our failure, so people will love us. I know much of this encompassed my life, always looking for someone to love me for me and yet, finding it so difficult to let the only true lover and romancer of my soul, love me and romance me. But this romancer and lover never stopped fighting for me, and one day I was awakened to the truth of this GREAT lover! JJ Hellar wrote a beautiful song, "Who will love me for me?" The truth is there is only one person who is fully capable of loving you or me in the way our heart truly longs to be loved. However, we have a real enemy who seeks to steal us from this love and place before us deceitful lovers that lead us to an empty path of destruction. We run to these lovers whom seem appetizing; yet we find ourselves empty in a pit of treachery. Satan is mankind's enemy, and he always seeks to kill, steal, and destroy. He is the king of KILL JOY!!! But yet Jesus Christ, is the one who loves us perfectly. God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit love mankind perfectly. But what stops us from embracing this love and receiving it. Many factors: our own fallenness, our rebellious hearts, past hurts, Satan's lies and accusations against us, etc. Revelation 12.10 talks about Satan as our great accuser. He accuses man day and night. What might his accusations sound like, well for me, they were never gentle always harsh and hurtful....."you dont deserve love?" "You are filthy and unworthy." "Why try, why let someone else in, you ruin everything, every relationship you have always fails." "You are too much for anyone to love." We all hear some accusation. So, how did we come to a place to receive God's love and continue in letting Him love us. It continues to be a daily battle for me, but there is VICTORY!!!! And refuse to let the enemy win any longer.
First, there must be trust and belief in what God says is true and asking Him to open your heart to hear the lies and the voice that is not His. The reality is yes, WITHOUT Christ, we are unworthy, ugly people, failures, etc. But as followers of Christ, we are not WITHOUT Christ, but covered in Christ. Over the past few years of walking with Christ, I would hear over and over, "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8.1)." But one day, this truth became so real to me. If there is NO condemnation left for me, then I am condemning myself and letting Satan condemn me. When God removed the stain of sin from us through the blood of Christ, His wrath was completely satisfied, therefore, only grace is left. Christ did not die in vain. And God, unlike fallen man, does not remember our sins. The penalty was paid, and He chooses to remember them no more. David Crowder sings a beautiful song regarding grace, "It's your love that we adore, it's like a sea without a shore." How incredible! God's love and grace towards us is a sea, and there is no shore for us to swim to; we are sinking in love and grace. Stop and picture that! Meditate on that image!
Secondly, We have to fight! Your heart may not fully believe this truth just yet. And God is patient and long suffering with us. He remembers we are dust. But we will never believe without faith. Sometimes, we have to act upon what God says is true whether we feel it to be true or our rationale proves it true. REMEMBER-------We are fallen, NOT GOD and His word. Our SAVIOR JESUS, never fell. We did, and honestly we are a pretty pathetic people that someone else had to die to save us because we were incapable of saving ourselves. I like to say, sometimes in our walk with God, we need the Nike attitude- "Just DO IT." For me, I had to just let God love me, and STOP running to all my other false lovers. Was it easy? No. Was it comfortable? Initially, absolutely not. BUT God says there is no condemnation, and if God says that, then there is NONE. When I feel most wretched, wicked and disgusting inside, I can bow my head, and say Jesus love me, and because there is no condemnation, I am then loved and embraced. I have found that the presence of Christ is the only place where I never have to explain myself; I just come, sit, and rest. Sometimes, I just cry without words, because my heart is in so much pain and weary over life. So, often we say, God doesn't love me. God doesn't care about me. God is not good to me. I believed all those dirty filthy lies Satan was throwing at me. I had to stop those lies, stop life, sit at His feet in prayer or reading His word. And TRUST what He says. Even confessing what I was believing, the lies. And He is so faithful. When I approach God in FAITH (not feeling lovable or deserving of love), He always meets me. And I see my Jesus wrap His arms around me. He holds my hand with His nail pierced hands. Why is Jesus scarred and will always be scarred? Because we are wicked people who need saving. He holds me, and I see His scars, and when He holds me, I hear a gentle whisper, "I love you Tara. I love you for you. I love you with all your brokenness. And nothing will ever ever separate you from me. Rest my child. Im gentle and lowly in heart. You dont need to run anymore." Nothing says I love you more than nail pierced hands!!!!!
First, there must be trust and belief in what God says is true and asking Him to open your heart to hear the lies and the voice that is not His. The reality is yes, WITHOUT Christ, we are unworthy, ugly people, failures, etc. But as followers of Christ, we are not WITHOUT Christ, but covered in Christ. Over the past few years of walking with Christ, I would hear over and over, "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8.1)." But one day, this truth became so real to me. If there is NO condemnation left for me, then I am condemning myself and letting Satan condemn me. When God removed the stain of sin from us through the blood of Christ, His wrath was completely satisfied, therefore, only grace is left. Christ did not die in vain. And God, unlike fallen man, does not remember our sins. The penalty was paid, and He chooses to remember them no more. David Crowder sings a beautiful song regarding grace, "It's your love that we adore, it's like a sea without a shore." How incredible! God's love and grace towards us is a sea, and there is no shore for us to swim to; we are sinking in love and grace. Stop and picture that! Meditate on that image!
Secondly, We have to fight! Your heart may not fully believe this truth just yet. And God is patient and long suffering with us. He remembers we are dust. But we will never believe without faith. Sometimes, we have to act upon what God says is true whether we feel it to be true or our rationale proves it true. REMEMBER-------We are fallen, NOT GOD and His word. Our SAVIOR JESUS, never fell. We did, and honestly we are a pretty pathetic people that someone else had to die to save us because we were incapable of saving ourselves. I like to say, sometimes in our walk with God, we need the Nike attitude- "Just DO IT." For me, I had to just let God love me, and STOP running to all my other false lovers. Was it easy? No. Was it comfortable? Initially, absolutely not. BUT God says there is no condemnation, and if God says that, then there is NONE. When I feel most wretched, wicked and disgusting inside, I can bow my head, and say Jesus love me, and because there is no condemnation, I am then loved and embraced. I have found that the presence of Christ is the only place where I never have to explain myself; I just come, sit, and rest. Sometimes, I just cry without words, because my heart is in so much pain and weary over life. So, often we say, God doesn't love me. God doesn't care about me. God is not good to me. I believed all those dirty filthy lies Satan was throwing at me. I had to stop those lies, stop life, sit at His feet in prayer or reading His word. And TRUST what He says. Even confessing what I was believing, the lies. And He is so faithful. When I approach God in FAITH (not feeling lovable or deserving of love), He always meets me. And I see my Jesus wrap His arms around me. He holds my hand with His nail pierced hands. Why is Jesus scarred and will always be scarred? Because we are wicked people who need saving. He holds me, and I see His scars, and when He holds me, I hear a gentle whisper, "I love you Tara. I love you for you. I love you with all your brokenness. And nothing will ever ever separate you from me. Rest my child. Im gentle and lowly in heart. You dont need to run anymore." Nothing says I love you more than nail pierced hands!!!!!
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
GLASS
I was listening to the country song, "Glass" during an evening run in the heat. There were two parts in the lyrics that struck my thinking. "We are shaped by the light we let through us" and "we break fast cause we are glass." We are shaped by what we let through us. The question is, what is the "light" you let in you? Maybe it is not light. Maybe it is something that invited itself without your permission. Regardless, there is one "True Light," and his name is Jesus Christ. He is the light now shaping my life. And in a sense how can we break when we are already broken. We do not need to convince ourselves that we are broken. One look at life on this earth will suffice our case as broken people. We are glass, shattered glass. There is only one source who can mend the shattered pieces of our life and that is Jesus Christ the King!!! Since the beginning of time, God has been pursuing and mending a people For himself through His Son Jesus Christ. Jesus came to this earth to mend God's priced possession and bring them back to their Creator. As long as you search for some "fix it" glue, you will continue to shatter. Only Christ can mend the broken pieces in our life.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
RANSOMED: What Stephen Saw-make that my Vision
RANSOMED: What Stephen Saw-make that my Vision: The other day I was reading reading Hebrews 12.1-2, though is not the first time I have read or studied this verse, but the Holy Spirit...
What Stephen Saw-make that my Vision
The other day I was reading reading Hebrews 12.1-2, though is not the first time I have read or studied this verse, but the Holy Spirit seemed to bring to light a portion of this Scripture. Christ is the author, and He alone is the finisher of my faith, in whom I should fix my eyes upon (vs. 2 NKJ). The NIV reads, "fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." I love how this version says perfecter.
Lately in my journey with the Lord, I have had significant struggles with guilt and condemnation specifically with present sins. This guilt and condemnation can procure from a pre-occupation with myself and whether I am "succeeding" or "failing" in pleasing the Lord. Many people have said, "Turn to Jesus and rest in Jesus." Honestly, it was so hard for me to understand how to rest in Jesus as my sanctifier. I understand and fully rest in Him as my justification and salvation before God, but in some was working to achieve my sanctification. I had a distorted view of sanctification. My standard was perfection, and as expected I have grown weak, weary, defeated, joyless, and exhausted. In desperation, and desiring freedom from thoughts of guilt and condemnation, I confessed my unbelief to God agreeing with God that I was sinning by not trusting His word and the work of Christ to make me holy. I believed that Christ was enough and is enough to fully save me, but I was not resting and trusting in him for my daily sanctification to make me more like Him.
I am now learning what it is to rest in Christ. There is a beautiful verse in the song, "Before the Throne," it says, "When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within upward I look and see Him there." For a long time, I thought- how does a thought of Jesus erase these awful feelings and this strong sense of defeat and guilt, when deep within me I ultimately want to be pleasing to God. Recently, I was reading further on Christ being the perfecter of my faith and read in Acts 7.54-60 the stoning of Stephen. As he was passing from this temporal earth into glory, the heavens opened, and "full of the Holy Spirit, [Stephen] looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God." The Holy Spirit then brought to my thoughts Hebrews 10.11-14 and Hebrews 9.22. In all of OT history, there was always a sacrifice and an offering of blood for the forgiveness of sins because "without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness." But Christ shed is precious blood once and forever for all mankind and is now seated at the right hand of God. All the sacrifices made by the high priests and all of our present day sacrifices could and will not satisfy the wrath of God, but Christ blood sufficed. Never was a high priest able to sit at the right hand of God, but Jesus did. He sat as a completing the work of atonement. There is NO LONGER a need for sacrifice as an atonement of our sins. When we "look at Jesus and fix our eyes on Him," we first see him on the cross- hanging naked in complete anguish bearing the full weight of my sin, your sin, our sin. He did it so that we could be made right with God and set free from the horror of sin and death.
I am a very practical person- so let's make this practical. IMAGINE yourself standing at the cross and looking up at Jesus, looking into his eyes (create this picture in your mind). Hear him say, I am hear for you, I love you, I am bearing all of your sin, and "it is finished." Christ did not die in vain, and He did not die that we should continue atoning or our sins. Now SEEK to imagine what Stephen saw when he gazed into heaven. See Jesus standing from His seated throne to again receive His possession, His brothers and sisters who are the joy in which he had set before Him when He endured the cross- YOU/ME (Heb. 12.1). His blood demands our guilt, condemnation to flee. Jesus Christ's life, sacrifice, death, and resurrection should encourage my heart to love Him, embrace Him, flee from sin, and run towards Him when I do sin. I had a friend one day tell me, as I confessed these struggles to her, that my continuing in guilt, shame, and condemnation is like a slap in the face to God saying that Christ's work on the cross is not enough. So why, why was Jesus standing there to receive Stephen, because He is ALL Stephen had. "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73.26).
I would like to say that my struggle with perfectionism, self-introspection, guilt, defeat, condemnation has fled over night, but walking with Christ is a journey. However, now when I am prone to despair, "upward I look and see him there who put an end to all my sin." I imagine, I think, I meditate simply on Jesus seated at the throne of God interceding for me. It will be a journey, but to GOD who is FAITHFUL !!!!!!!!! May the vision of Stephen be my vision.
Lately in my journey with the Lord, I have had significant struggles with guilt and condemnation specifically with present sins. This guilt and condemnation can procure from a pre-occupation with myself and whether I am "succeeding" or "failing" in pleasing the Lord. Many people have said, "Turn to Jesus and rest in Jesus." Honestly, it was so hard for me to understand how to rest in Jesus as my sanctifier. I understand and fully rest in Him as my justification and salvation before God, but in some was working to achieve my sanctification. I had a distorted view of sanctification. My standard was perfection, and as expected I have grown weak, weary, defeated, joyless, and exhausted. In desperation, and desiring freedom from thoughts of guilt and condemnation, I confessed my unbelief to God agreeing with God that I was sinning by not trusting His word and the work of Christ to make me holy. I believed that Christ was enough and is enough to fully save me, but I was not resting and trusting in him for my daily sanctification to make me more like Him.
I am now learning what it is to rest in Christ. There is a beautiful verse in the song, "Before the Throne," it says, "When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within upward I look and see Him there." For a long time, I thought- how does a thought of Jesus erase these awful feelings and this strong sense of defeat and guilt, when deep within me I ultimately want to be pleasing to God. Recently, I was reading further on Christ being the perfecter of my faith and read in Acts 7.54-60 the stoning of Stephen. As he was passing from this temporal earth into glory, the heavens opened, and "full of the Holy Spirit, [Stephen] looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God." The Holy Spirit then brought to my thoughts Hebrews 10.11-14 and Hebrews 9.22. In all of OT history, there was always a sacrifice and an offering of blood for the forgiveness of sins because "without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness." But Christ shed is precious blood once and forever for all mankind and is now seated at the right hand of God. All the sacrifices made by the high priests and all of our present day sacrifices could and will not satisfy the wrath of God, but Christ blood sufficed. Never was a high priest able to sit at the right hand of God, but Jesus did. He sat as a completing the work of atonement. There is NO LONGER a need for sacrifice as an atonement of our sins. When we "look at Jesus and fix our eyes on Him," we first see him on the cross- hanging naked in complete anguish bearing the full weight of my sin, your sin, our sin. He did it so that we could be made right with God and set free from the horror of sin and death.
I am a very practical person- so let's make this practical. IMAGINE yourself standing at the cross and looking up at Jesus, looking into his eyes (create this picture in your mind). Hear him say, I am hear for you, I love you, I am bearing all of your sin, and "it is finished." Christ did not die in vain, and He did not die that we should continue atoning or our sins. Now SEEK to imagine what Stephen saw when he gazed into heaven. See Jesus standing from His seated throne to again receive His possession, His brothers and sisters who are the joy in which he had set before Him when He endured the cross- YOU/ME (Heb. 12.1). His blood demands our guilt, condemnation to flee. Jesus Christ's life, sacrifice, death, and resurrection should encourage my heart to love Him, embrace Him, flee from sin, and run towards Him when I do sin. I had a friend one day tell me, as I confessed these struggles to her, that my continuing in guilt, shame, and condemnation is like a slap in the face to God saying that Christ's work on the cross is not enough. So why, why was Jesus standing there to receive Stephen, because He is ALL Stephen had. "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73.26).
I would like to say that my struggle with perfectionism, self-introspection, guilt, defeat, condemnation has fled over night, but walking with Christ is a journey. However, now when I am prone to despair, "upward I look and see him there who put an end to all my sin." I imagine, I think, I meditate simply on Jesus seated at the throne of God interceding for me. It will be a journey, but to GOD who is FAITHFUL !!!!!!!!! May the vision of Stephen be my vision.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Provision
So, I recently found out some unfortunate news. It has definitely laid a heavy burden upon me emotionally and financially. However, how convenient that lately I have been meditating on 2 Cor. 4.17, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an ETERNAL glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen." When I first received this unfortunate news, I thought- "God, why? why? What else can I handle? Have not the past two years of suffering been enough? Will it ever turn around?" After I repented of my selfish and stubborn; yet hurting heart, I heard the voice of the Lord sympathize, "my child, this place is not your home- I WILL return for you and not only you but my church." There is an eternal glory waiting for me and for all who worship the RISEN Savior. This earth and this present life is hard, and suffering is a reality. No matter what form suffering or hardship comes, it cannot compare to the GLORY to come. This is a profound truth! I am still trying to grasp it.
So, what do I see- I see the past years of pain and suffering. But Scripture promises me something, and it is something that I cannot yet touch, and that is one day every single tear will be wiped away by the scarred hands of Jesus. One day this world will come to an end and all that will remain is God, His Spirit, His Son Jesus Christ, and HIS WORD. And on that day, my faith will finally become sight. When I set my eyes on this, my present suffering slowly fades, and I see the arms of my great King reach towards me.
As I further processed these thoughts, my heart overwhelmed with gratitude. In my tears, my sweet roommate shared with me a quote she had read, "God whispers in our pleasures/joys .......and he screams in our suffering." (a little paraphrase). God could send me one check in the mail solving all my problems or He could take past hurts and pains away over night. But then would I really be able to say, He is the God who bears and suffers long, and He only is provider. Besides, the more small blessings of provision I receive, it only gives me another opportunity to thank my God for his gentle provisions. One massive provision only gives me one opportunity to thank him. But milk one day, a washer/dryer the next, a small financial gift/blessing, a meal, an understanding friend, a wise man/woman's wisdom, a job, etc. These many provisions give me more opportunities to give gratitude to my God and to reflect on the greatest blessing given to me- JESUS CHRIST.
To you and you alone God- I THANK YOU
So, what do I see- I see the past years of pain and suffering. But Scripture promises me something, and it is something that I cannot yet touch, and that is one day every single tear will be wiped away by the scarred hands of Jesus. One day this world will come to an end and all that will remain is God, His Spirit, His Son Jesus Christ, and HIS WORD. And on that day, my faith will finally become sight. When I set my eyes on this, my present suffering slowly fades, and I see the arms of my great King reach towards me.
As I further processed these thoughts, my heart overwhelmed with gratitude. In my tears, my sweet roommate shared with me a quote she had read, "God whispers in our pleasures/joys .......and he screams in our suffering." (a little paraphrase). God could send me one check in the mail solving all my problems or He could take past hurts and pains away over night. But then would I really be able to say, He is the God who bears and suffers long, and He only is provider. Besides, the more small blessings of provision I receive, it only gives me another opportunity to thank my God for his gentle provisions. One massive provision only gives me one opportunity to thank him. But milk one day, a washer/dryer the next, a small financial gift/blessing, a meal, an understanding friend, a wise man/woman's wisdom, a job, etc. These many provisions give me more opportunities to give gratitude to my God and to reflect on the greatest blessing given to me- JESUS CHRIST.
To you and you alone God- I THANK YOU
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Interesting thought
So, I realize that I have not written in sometime now. I really should because everyday I feel as though I have lots of new thoughts. I was contemplating the other day on the grace and glory of the Lord. I began to think about Creation, Fall, Redemption. My thought was........Had the fall never happened could we really know God's love (demonstrated in the cross), His mercy, and His forgiveness? If the fall, had never happened, could we really know mercy and forgiveness? Would there be a need for it if we were still living in perfection and harmony? Interesting how the fall of mankind and all it's evil, will in the end bring God the most glory and ultimately cause many to truly know His character !!!!!!!!!
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